The beginning

Peeing on a stick, and the internet. What do these things have in common. Actually quite a lot, but before thats all explained let me introduce myself. My name isn’t important but, I’m a housewife (if you can call living in a hoarders paradise housekeeping), I have a 10 month old daughter, and I’m literally the most perfect mom I know, by being absolutely imperfect. I’m here to help you through the good the bad and the ugly, all while keeping it real.

Back to peeing.

You wake up at the ass crack of dawn and you’re ready, you got that first morning pee and you’re more bloated than a Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade. You run to the bathroom, pee on a stick, maybe splash some pee everywhere like an excited Chihuahua, but who cares! Because 3 min later you get a positive. Fuck yeah. But now what?

Well like any sane person you call your obgyn and they make an appointment for 8, 10 or 12 weeks, which is FOREVER AWAY. so now you have Google as your doctor and BOY HOWDY THATS A BAD IDEA.

Google will tell you miscarriage rates, that cramps are bad, that you might have cancer, and not to tell anyone you’re pregnant because what if you’re not. And this is all in one Google search, so baby put that phone down and let me help you.

  1. Okay miscarriages are common, don’t freak out they’re caused by genetic problems that the body catches, and while it’s sad, you can get pregnant again.
  2. Cramps happen. You have a dividing cell digging into your uterine wall, it’s gonna be a crampy sensation. Anything abnormally strong (think worse than your period) see a doctor.
  3. Implantation bleeding is a thing. But if you see bright red fresh blood see a doctor.
  4. The internet loves to tell everyone they’re dying of cancer, I’m here to tell you that you’re probably just not feeling hot cause you’re pregnant.
  5. And last but not least, it’s your baby, you tell people you’re pregnant whenever you feel comfortable.

See not that scary. Although morning sickness is kinda scary, but suck on some lemons, drink water and enjoy the first trimester as much as you can.

1 thought on “The beginning”

  1. “You have a dividing cell digging into your uterine wall, it’s gonna be a crampy sensation.”

    NOBODY FRICKING TELLS YOU THIS CRAP AND IT’S BALONEY THAT THEY DON’T

    Like

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